1
00:00:06,510 --> 00:00:12,349
Love is like a butterfly, soft and
gentle as a fly. The

2
00:00:12,350 --> 00:00:16,750
multicolored moves of love are like its
saddened wings.

3
00:00:18,370 --> 00:00:21,470
Love makes your heart feel strange
inside.

4
00:00:21,670 --> 00:00:28,209
It flutters like the wings in flight.
Love is like a butterfly, a rare and

5
00:00:28,210 --> 00:00:29,290
gentle thing.

6
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:49,030
Has this thing had its breakfast, or
should I go for a stroll around the

7
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:50,250
Sorry.

8
00:00:55,460 --> 00:00:57,750
Would you tell him that that is my
newspaper?

9
00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:01,190
Oh, come on, Dad. You tell him. You'll
have to communicate eventually.

10
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:02,440
Oh, it's okay. It's okay.

11
00:01:04,260 --> 00:01:05,640
Aren't you going to read it?

12
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,350
I don't read at the table. Great. I'll
read it, then.

13
00:01:08,540 --> 00:01:10,590
In this house, nobody reads at the
table.

14
00:01:19,961 --> 00:01:22,919
I don't know what happened to it.

15
00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:26,350
It went into the frying pan as egg,
bacon and chip and it came out like

16
00:01:27,740 --> 00:01:28,790
Two things.

17
00:01:28,791 --> 00:01:32,679
I was deliberately not reading my
newspaper because I consider it to be

18
00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:34,020
manners to eat and read.

19
00:01:34,021 --> 00:01:37,419
But now that I've seen the full horror
of what's on my plate, may I have my

20
00:01:37,420 --> 00:01:38,470
paper back?

21
00:01:38,940 --> 00:01:40,560
Oh, would you believe it?

22
00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:43,640
Ross Drayton's statue's going to
America.

23
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,200
What, the lobbers? Yes.

24
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:46,890
Some rich guy.

25
00:01:47,060 --> 00:01:50,950
Oh. And wouldn't you know, he wants it
for the side of his swimming pool.

26
00:01:51,170 --> 00:01:52,610
May we discuss my breakfast?

27
00:01:53,190 --> 00:01:54,240
It's ridiculous.

28
00:01:54,310 --> 00:01:55,810
Why should it go to America?

29
00:01:56,610 --> 00:01:59,270
It's so delicate and enigmatic.

30
00:01:59,271 --> 00:02:03,069
I mean, if the Americans want a statue,
why don't they get one of their own

31
00:02:03,070 --> 00:02:05,360
sculptors to chisel them a giant
hamburger?

32
00:02:05,770 --> 00:02:09,440
Since we're on the subject of art, may I
remind you that cooking is an art?

33
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:11,510
Yes, well, I'm an abstract artist.

34
00:02:12,690 --> 00:02:13,740
Toast, please.

35
00:02:13,741 --> 00:02:15,709
There's something wrong with the
toaster.

36
00:02:15,710 --> 00:02:17,980
I put bread in and dinner mat... Come
out.

37
00:02:19,900 --> 00:02:23,719
Then I shall abandon the idea of
breakfast. I shall go back to my bed,

38
00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,480
paper, and return for lunch.

39
00:02:25,481 --> 00:02:31,119
Funny, isn't it, how we always begin a
meal with your father and end up without

40
00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,060
him. Like a visiting ghost.

41
00:02:34,140 --> 00:02:38,399
Quick prod of his plate, the complete
demolition of his face, and then he just

42
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:41,380
dematerialises. I guess it's all too
much for him.

43
00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:43,700
Knackered sausages and Ross Drayton.

44
00:02:44,420 --> 00:02:46,880
Listen, sunshine, Ross Drayton's got
talent.

45
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,900
And this country needs talent.

46
00:02:49,180 --> 00:02:51,600
We're all your best artists, writers,
singers.

47
00:02:51,601 --> 00:02:55,439
America, that's where, and why? Because
this country screws them into the

48
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:59,199
ground. Okay, okay, don't get uptight
about it. It's only a couple of bits of

49
00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:00,960
rock. Don't get uptight about it.

50
00:03:00,961 --> 00:03:03,359
Frost Drayton's already gone over there
himself.

51
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:05,199
Now his best piece of sculpture's
following.

52
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:08,260
Every day, some part of this glorious
empire vanishes.

53
00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:11,240
Shiploads of Victoriana, old lampposts.

54
00:03:11,470 --> 00:03:12,520
Old pillar boxes.

55
00:03:12,590 --> 00:03:16,650
All those rose -budded chamber pots.
London Bridge. The whole goddamn lot.

56
00:03:16,710 --> 00:03:17,760
Going, going.

57
00:03:18,510 --> 00:03:20,710
We're just a plastic island here. Right
on.

58
00:03:20,930 --> 00:03:22,890
Okay, don't get screwed up about it.

59
00:03:22,891 --> 00:03:26,449
I think we ought to control this
conversation. I don't think the pebble

60
00:03:26,450 --> 00:03:29,790
any more. Boy, all we've had grow over a
couple of bits of rock.

61
00:03:29,791 --> 00:03:34,109
You ought to be pleased to have a mother
that can think beyond the kitchen sink.

62
00:03:34,110 --> 00:03:36,340
I could be going on about the price of
butter.

63
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:40,610
I could mutter endlessly about that dark
little corner in your bedroom.

64
00:03:41,150 --> 00:03:43,150
where even the hoover fears to tread.

65
00:03:43,830 --> 00:03:45,270
You cook like the cook.

66
00:03:46,970 --> 00:03:49,030
Sorry, that was a tasteless joke.

67
00:03:50,370 --> 00:03:55,349
That's all right, Adam. I can make
tasteless jokes too, like the shepherd's

68
00:03:55,350 --> 00:03:57,090
you're going to have for your lunch.

69
00:04:51,790 --> 00:04:52,990
I'm not here by accident.

70
00:04:53,690 --> 00:04:55,190
Everything I do is deliberate.

71
00:04:56,990 --> 00:04:58,040
Oh.

72
00:04:59,290 --> 00:05:00,530
My chauffeur saw you.

73
00:05:04,110 --> 00:05:05,690
He knows I know you, you see.

74
00:05:06,590 --> 00:05:09,010
So when he saw you come into the park,
he told me.

75
00:05:09,990 --> 00:05:12,700
So I thought I'd come in and have a
little chat with you.

76
00:05:45,540 --> 00:05:50,120
You taste me? That is a loud smile. That
really is a loud smile.

77
00:05:50,620 --> 00:05:52,060
Oh, where the hell is Thomas?

78
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,460
Your whole face is browning.

79
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,460
You look like a dried apricot.

80
00:05:56,940 --> 00:06:01,599
Don't fix me with that female gaze. Oh,
dear, I've killed it, and all I did was

81
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:02,650
tread on it. Look.

82
00:06:03,140 --> 00:06:05,100
Well, don't you yell at me.

83
00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:08,190
I was just sitting there quietly
listening to the band.

84
00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:09,640
It was you who started...

85
00:06:09,641 --> 00:06:13,609
dragging deck chairs around and beating
them to death? Well, it's not easy

86
00:06:13,610 --> 00:06:17,529
trying to talk to you, is it? Every time
I get near you, a red flashing warning

87
00:06:17,530 --> 00:06:19,390
light goes on. You're shopping basket.

88
00:06:20,550 --> 00:06:23,270
You use that word to hurt me, don't you?

89
00:06:23,510 --> 00:06:26,190
Shopping basket. It makes you feel
superior.

90
00:06:27,610 --> 00:06:29,610
The right mess I've made of my life.

91
00:06:29,950 --> 00:06:31,270
45 years old.

92
00:06:31,790 --> 00:06:34,560
I've lost my marriage, my dignity, my
driving licence.

93
00:06:34,930 --> 00:06:37,040
Now I can't even find my bloody
chauffeur.

94
00:06:41,850 --> 00:06:45,110
Well, let me... Let me tell you!

95
00:06:45,830 --> 00:06:50,569
I'm not your mundane little housewife.
Nobody tells me which washing -up liquid

96
00:06:50,570 --> 00:06:55,109
can get the egg off my plate. And it was
always perfectly obvious to me which

97
00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:57,070
was margarine and which was butter.

98
00:06:57,830 --> 00:06:59,170
Look, do I know you?

99
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:03,530
Oh, yes, that's right. We met in a cafe,
didn't we?

100
00:07:03,810 --> 00:07:06,210
You are married. I am divorced.

101
00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:11,459
Your life is full, mine is empty. You
came into the park to be alone. I

102
00:07:11,460 --> 00:07:15,619
you because I am alone. I remember now.
One of those unfortunate little

103
00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:16,670
incidents in life.

104
00:07:19,060 --> 00:07:23,740
You think I can't go anywhere without my
shopping basket, don't you?

105
00:08:23,850 --> 00:08:26,050
glad I found you.

106
00:08:26,710 --> 00:08:31,070
I have made your tea.

107
00:08:32,710 --> 00:08:36,230
I've ironed your shirt.

108
00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:40,870
I've cleaned your house.

109
00:08:41,169 --> 00:08:47,429
And just in case you didn't know, Ben,
it's a lovely

110
00:08:47,430 --> 00:08:49,830
day.

111
00:09:21,130 --> 00:09:22,490
every day, all of the day.

112
00:09:22,491 --> 00:09:25,469
Doesn't it make you think, what the hell
am I doing?

113
00:09:25,470 --> 00:09:28,050
Wandering my time, my life, my mind?

114
00:09:28,710 --> 00:09:29,760
Polishing?

115
00:09:30,330 --> 00:09:34,769
Doesn't it make you think it's like
spending the very last pound note you'll

116
00:09:34,770 --> 00:09:37,270
ever have on something you don't even
like?

117
00:09:38,510 --> 00:09:39,560
No.

118
00:09:42,990 --> 00:09:45,890
You know, Ruby, today feels good.

119
00:09:46,650 --> 00:09:48,090
I don't know why it feels good.

120
00:09:48,750 --> 00:09:50,430
There's nothing special about it.

121
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:51,730
Yet.

122
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:54,160
As if I were a girl again.

123
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:56,690
Oh, well.

124
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,610
My first encounter with a mirror, we'll
put that right.

125
00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:01,920
I hate mirrors and clocks.

126
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:05,810
If we didn't have them, we wouldn't know
how old we were or how late it was.

127
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,090
Oh.

128
00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:11,380
I forgot to put tea bags in the clock.

129
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,360
Like, er, news, you know what I mean?

130
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,600
I never know what you mean, Adam.

131
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:46,040
I recognise the words, but the sentences
are all of a complete mystery to me.

132
00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:47,880
It's double important news.

133
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:49,559
Oh, I see.

134
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:50,610
Gathering momentum.

135
00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:54,190
In that case, I'll wait for Reginald
Bozenkent to mention it tonight.

136
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,140
We might just do that.

137
00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:57,410
What does that mean?

138
00:10:57,411 --> 00:11:00,579
Well, you know that Russ and you had
this hang -up about the Statue of the

139
00:11:00,580 --> 00:11:02,900
Lover? Yes, yes, why shouldn't we? Oh,
right.

140
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:06,500
And you know that Russ gets over
-emotional about things.

141
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,200
Yes, I understand that.

142
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:12,699
People should be proud, not ashamed of
their emotions. I made a point of

143
00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:14,260
teaching you both that. Right on.

144
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,860
Well, he's chained himself to it.

145
00:11:17,980 --> 00:11:19,030
Chained himself?

146
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,500
You mean, actually, physically, chained
himself?

147
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:24,550
With a chain?

148
00:11:25,740 --> 00:11:26,790
Oh,

149
00:11:27,571 --> 00:11:29,499
what have I done?

150
00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:32,210
Well, his theory is that if it goes to
America, he goes.

151
00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:34,840
He's trying to silly change a couple of
nudes.

152
00:11:39,051 --> 00:11:41,059
aren't they, Adam?

153
00:11:41,060 --> 00:11:42,240
Sure, sure.

154
00:11:42,580 --> 00:11:44,580
Yeah, he hasn't done the full bit yet.

155
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,520
Are there a lot of people staring?

156
00:11:48,980 --> 00:11:52,619
Well, it is just up the main hall. Oh,
don't tell me any more, Adam. Let me

157
00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:55,020
discover it myself, step by awful step.

158
00:11:55,260 --> 00:11:59,240
We'd better get round there, Mum. Yes.
Now, I'll explain it all to your father.

159
00:11:59,460 --> 00:12:02,530
We've got to protect him from 90 % of
what goes on in this house.

160
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:34,890
make him decent.

161
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,140
Are you the father?

162
00:12:43,141 --> 00:12:46,339
I am, yes. Good. Do you think we can
have a picture? No, you may not have a

163
00:12:46,340 --> 00:12:48,120
picture. Thank you very much.

164
00:12:48,660 --> 00:12:50,950
How about a nice one of the rest of the
family?

165
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:52,440
A nice, smiley one.

166
00:12:52,660 --> 00:12:55,740
The answer again is no. Today we are
neither nice nor smiley.

167
00:13:02,161 --> 00:13:05,919
What are we to do about the neighbours?

168
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:06,970
Neighbours?

169
00:13:06,971 --> 00:13:09,259
I know you refuse to admit that they are
there.

170
00:13:09,260 --> 00:13:12,379
But I, in fact, have to make that little
journey each morning from the front

171
00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:13,430
door to my car.

172
00:13:13,431 --> 00:13:16,839
And every time I do it, the journey gets
longer and I get smaller at the events

173
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:17,890
in our house.

174
00:13:17,891 --> 00:13:22,319
Soon I shall have to resort to leaving
my house with a coat over my head.

175
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:25,500
Ben, is that all you've got to worry
about? The neighbours?

176
00:13:34,670 --> 00:13:37,020
Emotions are not the only thing he's
exposing.

177
00:13:37,210 --> 00:13:39,620
Yes, well, that takes courage too,
doesn't it?

178
00:13:40,150 --> 00:13:43,220
You know how sensitive he is about his
navel being off centre.

179
00:13:44,630 --> 00:13:48,420
Very important thing, the navel. Can
throw the whole picture out of balance.

180
00:13:48,421 --> 00:13:51,269
Too much time on their hands, that's the
problem.

181
00:13:51,270 --> 00:13:54,580
They shuffle from one protest to the
next in a thoughtless vacuum.

182
00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:57,880
They should be diverting their minds to
things of importance.

183
00:13:58,330 --> 00:13:59,410
He's wearing my socks.

184
00:14:08,251 --> 00:14:15,199
For one of the lads with some cutting
gear, it's a combination loft he's got

185
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,159
there.

186
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:17,740
Can we go in and see him now?

187
00:14:23,540 --> 00:14:24,590
Are you the father?

188
00:14:25,140 --> 00:14:26,740
Yes. You can go in now.

189
00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:28,530
Thank you.

190
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,700
I'm sorry about his body.

191
00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:34,960
Well, we've all got one, haven't we?

192
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:36,550
Yes.

193
00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:40,939
In this day and age, the sight of the
human form is no longer a shattering

194
00:14:40,940 --> 00:14:44,699
experience. No, but for some
extraordinary reason, he seems to think

195
00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:45,750
sight of his is.

196
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:58,479
Have you had anything to eat? I gave him
a packet of

197
00:14:58,480 --> 00:14:59,530
crisps.

198
00:14:59,531 --> 00:15:03,459
We'll soon have you home, and then we
can talk.

199
00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:04,510
I'm not coming home.

200
00:15:05,140 --> 00:15:08,160
Oh, what a silly way to talk. Of course
you're coming home.

201
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,020
Anyone would think we were your enemies.

202
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:13,570
He looked at me.

203
00:15:14,900 --> 00:15:17,060
His face is filled with concern.

204
00:15:19,380 --> 00:15:22,870
Yes, I think that particular arrangement
of his features is concern.

205
00:15:22,871 --> 00:15:26,039
Do you have any idea of the
embarrassment he is causing?

206
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:27,600
I was wrong. It's embarrassment.

207
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,460
But nobody needs to get involved.

208
00:15:29,461 --> 00:15:31,479
What does it mean, nobody needs to get
involved?

209
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:32,530
We are involved.

210
00:15:32,531 --> 00:15:35,759
Does he expect me to go on merrily
capping people's teeth while he's being

211
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,700
shipped off to America entwined with a
nude statue?

212
00:15:38,701 --> 00:15:44,699
They're not entwined with it. They're
not even entwined with each other. All

213
00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:48,880
three of them are perfectly, tastefully
disentwined.

214
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:51,160
It's just something I've got to do.

215
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:53,080
It's my thing.

216
00:15:53,081 --> 00:15:54,879
What's he talking about?

217
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,820
What is he talking about?

218
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,770
Rembrandt next door, and you're raising
your voice.

219
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:05,460
All by raising my voice, he goes up and
down with my blood pressure.

220
00:16:08,460 --> 00:16:10,700
Russell, I know what you're trying to
do.

221
00:16:10,701 --> 00:16:14,169
and why you're doing it, but you can't
change things on your own.

222
00:16:14,170 --> 00:16:18,569
You can't take the world and shake it
and maul it and make it into what you

223
00:16:18,570 --> 00:16:19,620
it to be.

224
00:16:20,070 --> 00:16:21,120
Ask your father.

225
00:16:23,930 --> 00:16:27,120
I'm going to give you the benefit of my
ability to be reasonable.

226
00:16:29,630 --> 00:16:33,230
I'm going to speak to you about human
emotions.

227
00:16:35,990 --> 00:16:37,090
Two years ago...

228
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,919
when an Amazonian female with a peaked
cap and a face like a rustic brick bore

229
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,480
down on me with a parking ticket.

230
00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:48,279
I toyed with the idea of buying a
helicopter and machine gunning the

231
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:49,330
force.

232
00:16:49,331 --> 00:16:52,959
I couldn't wait to come plunging out of
those clouds, heading straight for the

233
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:54,010
high street.

234
00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:56,190
Oh, yes, Russell.

235
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,040
I know how it feels to feel.

236
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:01,150
Oh, yes.

237
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,090
But it's a question of discipline, isn't
it? And money.

238
00:17:05,339 --> 00:17:07,079
Helicopters are pretty expensive.

239
00:17:09,930 --> 00:17:13,710
all these years and not wanting to chain
myself to railings and things?

240
00:17:14,170 --> 00:17:15,220
Oh, yes.

241
00:17:15,550 --> 00:17:16,600
But I never did.

242
00:17:17,130 --> 00:17:20,560
And do you know why I never did? Well,
like Mum said, it takes courage.

243
00:17:20,770 --> 00:17:25,068
I never chained myself to things because
I managed to keep sight of the one

244
00:17:25,069 --> 00:17:31,310
noble thought that I am a human being,
not a bicycle.

245
00:17:33,070 --> 00:17:35,170
I am not a bicycle, I reminded myself.

246
00:17:38,060 --> 00:17:42,960
And I know that because you are my son,
you will tell yourself the same thing.

247
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:51,620
I guess I'm happy just being a bicycle.

248
00:17:53,060 --> 00:17:56,700
Ben, I'd like to talk to Russell alone,
with Adam.

249
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,090
I see.

250
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,200
I shall wait outside.

251
00:18:03,201 --> 00:18:05,739
Ben! It's all right, it's all right, I
understand.

252
00:18:05,740 --> 00:18:06,980
You can sort things out.

253
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,720
better without me.

254
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:12,200
I am the grub in the family apple.

255
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:14,220
Get them socks on.

256
00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:26,520
Mum, if you've come to talk me out of
it, just forget it, all right?

257
00:18:43,020 --> 00:18:45,220
these two, aren't they?

258
00:18:46,220 --> 00:18:48,390
He doesn't look enthusiastic enough to
me.

259
00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:53,720
She looks shy, hesitant.

260
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:56,260
No, she just fancies rough now.

261
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,840
I know about feeling shy and hesitant.

262
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:05,990
Mum, I wish she'd get the lecture over
with, so as I could ignore it and relax.

263
00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:10,360
It is so...

264
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:18,850
Right.

265
00:19:21,020 --> 00:19:22,070
Adam?

266
00:19:23,380 --> 00:19:27,110
While I'm lecturing Russell, I'd like
you to take a message to your father.

267
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:30,870
Are you the father?

268
00:19:31,620 --> 00:19:32,670
Yes.

269
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,930
Well, we'd better go and get on with the
job, wouldn't we?

270
00:19:38,860 --> 00:19:39,910
Dad,

271
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,620
Mum wants me to give you a message.

272
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:42,690
Oh, yeah?

273
00:19:43,590 --> 00:19:46,960
She said she loves you very much and
there's a meat pie in the fridge.

274
00:19:47,190 --> 00:19:48,690
What kind of a message is that?

275
00:19:49,530 --> 00:19:51,390
The kind that's going to freak you out.

276
00:19:51,870 --> 00:19:53,670
Mum's chained herself to the statue.

277
00:20:00,010 --> 00:20:03,680
Oh, come on, I'm the guy who started it
all. Yeah, but I'm prettier than you.

278
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:06,420
Hi.

279
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,060
Oh, Dad, it was a really good cause.

280
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:16,580
Well, Mum and I really felt it.

281
00:20:18,380 --> 00:20:21,810
And although you may not approve of what
we do, we kind of have to do it.

282
00:20:21,940 --> 00:20:25,280
Like you have to go out today and be a
really straight guy.

283
00:20:27,380 --> 00:20:32,780
But we, most of us, have something
inside us. Something real weird. Yes,

284
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:33,880
something real weird.

285
00:20:33,881 --> 00:20:37,299
That's what makes life so interesting.
You know, you get assorted people with

286
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:40,550
assorted hang -ups. Yeah, that's why
life's so full of surprises.

287
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:48,640
Well, you've gotta do what you've gotta
do. Yeah, whatever lights your candle.

288
00:21:11,441 --> 00:21:18,469
I'm about to make that little journey,
you see, from the front door to my car,

289
00:21:18,470 --> 00:21:20,989
under the intense surveillance of the
neighbours.

290
00:21:20,990 --> 00:21:21,989
The neighbours?

291
00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:22,949
Yes, neighbours.

292
00:21:22,950 --> 00:21:26,229
To you and your mother, they are non
-existent. To me, they are a terrifying

293
00:21:26,230 --> 00:21:27,280
reality.

294
00:22:20,750 --> 00:22:25,530
Who do you think could possibly put me
somewhere I won't get run over?

295
00:22:29,641 --> 00:22:31,329
Oh,

296
00:22:31,330 --> 00:22:38,110
God.

297
00:22:41,850 --> 00:22:43,370
God, Thomas, I'm unfit.

298
00:22:43,371 --> 00:22:47,849
I'm like one of those old motor mowers
that splutter around the lawn doing

299
00:22:47,850 --> 00:22:50,020
everything except cut the grass. Thank
you.

300
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:51,730
No, sir.

301
00:22:51,940 --> 00:22:54,640
You got through half bare the old
symphony today.

302
00:22:55,040 --> 00:23:00,279
This time last week, Beethoven and got
his ba -ba -ba -ba -bomb out before you

303
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:01,330
go flat on your face.

304
00:23:06,980 --> 00:23:08,400
Isn't nature perfect?

305
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:12,700
It's funny, isn't it? I mean, you can't
falter on anything.

306
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:18,100
Every plant, every creature, and so
perfectly designed.

307
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:20,040
I mean, it's...

308
00:23:20,350 --> 00:23:21,400
It's marvellous.

309
00:23:21,610 --> 00:23:23,670
I don't know about that, sir.

310
00:23:24,690 --> 00:23:28,770
Nobody can say that her daddy Longlegs
was a masterpiece of engineering.

311
00:23:30,190 --> 00:23:36,069
I watched one the other day. It took it
half an hour to unfurl itself and get

312
00:23:36,070 --> 00:23:40,629
off the ground, another half an hour to
recover from smashing into the

313
00:23:40,630 --> 00:23:45,569
windowpane, and then when it did get
outside, the weight of its legs caused a

314
00:23:45,570 --> 00:23:49,610
downward plunge and it landed up in a
starling's beak.

315
00:23:50,590 --> 00:23:52,790
I seem to make journeys like that every
day.

316
00:23:55,750 --> 00:23:58,010
I got a letter from my ex -wife.

317
00:23:58,570 --> 00:23:59,950
I'm sorry to hear that, sir.

318
00:24:00,790 --> 00:24:02,900
She wants the other half of the
furniture.

319
00:24:03,750 --> 00:24:05,130
Ruthless things, ex -wives.

320
00:24:06,170 --> 00:24:07,710
I gave her everything, Thomas.

321
00:24:08,590 --> 00:24:10,150
I never looked at another woman.

322
00:24:11,190 --> 00:24:15,089
I mean, even in summer, when a man is
threatened by that approaching army of

323
00:24:15,090 --> 00:24:17,130
cheesecloth and nipples, I never looked.

324
00:24:20,140 --> 00:24:21,220
That was a lie, Thomas.

325
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:25,230
When women took off their bras, I went
down with eye strain.

326
00:24:26,540 --> 00:24:30,680
You can get away with murder behind
them.

327
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:34,000
But I never looked at another woman. I
mean, not seriously.

328
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:39,700
I never wanted one, not until... Did you
see the morning paper today, sir?

329
00:24:40,060 --> 00:24:42,740
Yes, I did. Well, briefly, I guess.

330
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:44,010
Your friend.

331
00:24:44,220 --> 00:24:46,780
Very, uh... Attractive?

332
00:24:47,700 --> 00:24:48,750
Yes.

333
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,800
Have you seen the statue of the two
lovers, sir?

334
00:24:54,180 --> 00:24:55,500
No, I haven't.

335
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:59,980
But I expect I shall have a look. An
interesting piece of work, sir.

336
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:07,279
They're both naked, and yet one cannot
tell whether they are about to say hello

337
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,060
or goodbye.

338
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:24,460
I mean, what have you gained? Nothing.

339
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:26,520
A statue's still going to America.

340
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:31,039
Neighbours' tongues are going like
castanets. Those bloody reporters have

341
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:32,090
nerve to say I'm 52.

342
00:25:34,780 --> 00:25:40,379
Look, I am a human being with human
instincts and human beliefs and human

343
00:25:40,380 --> 00:25:45,340
rights. And I am not going to apologise.
I am absolutely not going to apologise.

344
00:25:45,620 --> 00:25:48,860
And what's more... I'm sorry.

345
00:25:51,150 --> 00:25:52,590
You got it out of your system?

346
00:25:52,591 --> 00:25:56,449
I suppose when a man marries a wayward
woman, he can expect to have at least

347
00:25:56,450 --> 00:25:59,520
wayward son in the litter. Except that
in my case, I've got two.

348
00:26:00,550 --> 00:26:02,170
It's all this misunderstanding.

349
00:26:02,930 --> 00:26:04,570
You don't understand them.

350
00:26:04,830 --> 00:26:06,390
They don't understand you.

351
00:26:06,790 --> 00:26:10,170
Whereas I'm in the middle. I have to
understand all of you.

352
00:26:11,030 --> 00:26:15,350
If only I could see some... some
comradeship, some rapport.

353
00:26:16,270 --> 00:26:18,430
The man I love, the children I love.

354
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,190
Halfing together, having a drink
together.

355
00:26:21,340 --> 00:26:24,470
That's like asking a man to share a bath
with a shoal of piranha.

356
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,160
Well, at least they take the boredom out
of our lives.

357
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:31,940
You made my peas fall off my floor.

358
00:26:34,380 --> 00:26:35,760
I'm sorry about your peas.

359
00:26:35,761 --> 00:26:39,219
On top of which, you said something very
hurtful. I'm sorry I said something

360
00:26:39,220 --> 00:26:41,570
very hurtful. Still, I suppose it was
the truth.

361
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,120
I'm sorry about the truth.

362
00:26:43,780 --> 00:26:47,760
I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry
about me, but that's the way I am.

363
00:26:51,630 --> 00:26:54,790
I would like you to like me the way I
am.

364
00:26:55,650 --> 00:27:01,250
And the way I am is... impossible.

365
00:27:03,130 --> 00:27:04,390
I do quite like you.

366
00:27:04,890 --> 00:27:06,350
And I try to understand you.

367
00:27:06,351 --> 00:27:11,089
We're like trapeze artists, you and I,
hurtling through the air, grasping each

368
00:27:11,090 --> 00:27:12,140
other's hands.

369
00:27:12,730 --> 00:27:17,309
One day I'll leap towards you with a
burst of enthusiasm, and you won't be

370
00:27:17,310 --> 00:27:18,360
there.

371
00:27:18,610 --> 00:27:20,170
My God, what a mess that'll make.

372
00:27:24,270 --> 00:27:26,650
I will always be there.

373
00:27:31,910 --> 00:27:32,960
Hi, Mum.

374
00:27:33,130 --> 00:27:34,180
Dad. Hi.

375
00:27:41,270 --> 00:27:42,320
That's for you.

376
00:27:43,790 --> 00:27:47,529
Well, with all the publicity and
everything, it was kind of worse for you

377
00:27:47,530 --> 00:27:48,549
for Mum.

378
00:27:48,550 --> 00:27:50,470
Because in the pictures she looks good.

379
00:27:54,220 --> 00:27:55,420
I appreciate your stock.

380
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:58,420
It's an identity, Dick.

381
00:27:58,421 --> 00:28:01,839
Right here, it's got your name, your
address, your blood group.

382
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:02,890
We left your age out.

383
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:07,690
Very nice.

384
00:28:09,540 --> 00:28:10,860
I'm moved.

385
00:28:10,861 --> 00:28:15,999
It's got your telephone number on as
well, so if you ever come to that sudden

386
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,830
end you're always talking about, someone
can ring us up.

387
00:28:23,790 --> 00:28:25,050
It's really, really nice.

388
00:28:25,730 --> 00:28:29,160
And there's a space for putting a list
of all your chronic illnesses.

389
00:28:29,550 --> 00:28:31,110
You should have got a bigger one.

390
00:28:34,510 --> 00:28:35,560
Well, now.

391
00:28:35,930 --> 00:28:38,270
How about we three going down to the
pub?

392
00:28:38,670 --> 00:28:40,590
I've got an hour before my next patient.

393
00:28:40,910 --> 00:28:42,230
You mean for a drink?

394
00:28:42,231 --> 00:28:44,929
Yes, I believe that's what they serve in
pubs.

395
00:28:44,930 --> 00:28:46,990
Oh, it's OK by me. And me. And me.

396
00:28:47,830 --> 00:28:48,880
I'll get it.

397
00:28:49,250 --> 00:28:50,300
OK?

398
00:28:50,390 --> 00:28:51,610
OK, definitely.

399
00:28:53,401 --> 00:28:55,559
Hey, Mum, it's for you.

400
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:56,610
See you.

401
00:29:01,420 --> 00:29:03,140
Hello. Hello, Ria.

402
00:29:04,700 --> 00:29:09,060
You. I did something extraordinary
today.

403
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:11,820
So did I yesterday.

404
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:56,200
They'll have to be mocked this morning.

405
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:00,990
They've got bloody cheek, them
newspapers.

406
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:05,260
Oh, I don't know, Ruby.

407
00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:08,540
I quite like newspapers.

408
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:11,770
And telephone.

409
00:30:39,050 --> 00:30:40,370
Love is life, you know.

410
00:30:40,420 --> 00:30:44,970
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